Mindset

Are you making this mistake that is keeping you stuck and small?

October 9, 2019

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Tell me, have you been wondering why you’re still not where you’d like to be? 

Maybe you’ve done a lot of soul searching, but you’re back at square one, still confused and no real progress made.

Maybe you’ve been wanting to leave your job, but somehow you’re still there and no closer to handing in your resignation. 

Maybe you’ve been saying that you want to work for yourself for longer than you can remember, but you’re still lightyears away from making that a reality. 

Or maybe you have already taken a big leap towards your dreams and goals, but it’s not working out the way you thought or hoped it would and you wonder if you’ve made the right choice. 

Does any of that sound familiar? Yes? 

Well, let me first reassure you that you’re not a total loser for not being where you’d like to be and applaud you for knowing you want something else! It might sounds small, but please believe me when I say it’s not.


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So many people just stuff away their dreams and ambitions, so kudos to you for having the courage to acknowledge those dreams and ambitions.

I feel your frustration though about not being where you would’ve liked to be by now. It can kill your confidence and make you wonder if you have what it takes. 

I don’t think I need to spell this out for you, but I’m going to anyhow, just so you don’t forget: 

Y O U  H A V E  E V E R Y T H I N G  Y O U  N E E D  T O  M A K E  T H I S  W O R K. 

You honestly do. I know I might not know personally know you, dear reader, but of this I’m sure: we all have everything we need to turn our biggest and boldest dreams and ambitions into reality. 

You just need to start believing you do and get out of your own way. 

Sometimes, we’re our own worst enemy. 

One of the biggest mistakes a lot of people make in the pursuit of their amazing goals is using the word ‘should’ or ‘shouldn’t’ too often. 

  • I should’ve achieved this by now. 

  • I should be spending time with my family, instead of working. 

  • I should make at least six figures per year to be a successful business owner. 

  • I should work at least 60 hours per week if I want to make this a success. 

  • I should have this diploma, or people won’t find me credible enough (I’ve written more on that here). 

  • I shouldn’t change industries, because I’m good at what I do and I’ve built a good reputation in this one. 

  • I shouldn’t go back to school, I’m too old for that. 

  • I shouldn’t pack up my belongings and go travelling for a year, that’s not very responsible or grown up. 

  • I shouldn’t hand in my notice. My job’s not a total nightmare and other people would kill for it. I should be grateful. 

I could go on and on and on. 

Let me be straight: it’s all a boatload of BS, doing nothing but holding you back. 

Seriously, the worlds should and shouldn’t need to be removed from our vocabulary. They cause us to doubt ourselves and put a break on our dreams and ambitions. 

It doesn’t matter what the norms or rules are. 
It doesn’t matter what other people think or what they expect you to do. 
It doesn’t matter what society says you should do. 

What matters is what you want to do and how you choose to live your life. It’s your life, so you get to chose how you want to live it. 

When we let the shoulds and shouldn’ts dictate our life, we end up disempowered, unfulfilled and unhappy. 

So let’s ditch them, once and for good. 

Next time you catch yourself using should or shouldn’t, stop it and drop it. Remind yourself that these words don’t do any good for you. 

If you’re struggling, ask yourself how true it is what you’re telling yourself. 

How true is it that you… 

  • should’ve achieved this by now?

  • should be spending time with your family, instead of working? 

  • should make at least six figures per year to be a successful business owner?

  • should work at least 60 hours per week if you want to make something a success?

  • should have this diploma, or people won’t find you credible enough?

  • shouldn’t change industries, because you’re good at what you do and you’ve built a good reputation in it?

  • shouldn’t go back to school because you’re too old for it?

  • shouldn’t pack up your belongings and go travelling for a year because that’s not  the responsible or grown up thing to do?

  • shouldn’t hand in your notice – just because other people would kill for it? 

All of these statements are debatable, so you, yes YOU reading these words, get to choose what is or what isn’t right for you. 

Your life, your decisions. 


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PS do you want to go to bed feeling fulfilled and proud of the work you do and the impact you make, every.single.day? Not sure how to make that happen? Then you need to sign up for Start Doing Work You Love pronto. It’s my brand new 4-week email series to help you find more fulfilling and meaningful work right now. Sign up NOW as I’m offering it completely free for a short period of time, so get in there before the doors close.

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